Monday won...its Tuesday

Ok ladies so let me honest and quick. Monday made me its bitch!!!! I was so tired and I am not sure why. I slept more than anything yesterday after work, not sure why. I guess I will blame it on my hormones. As you can see by the ticker I did not pile on the miles #epicfail So I am modifying that goal to only 15 miles a week. There are two days a week that I just will not be able to go to the gym so I have to be realistic and not set my self up for failure.... Umm what else was I supposed to do? Blog, yep didnt do that either LOL... I dont know what happen and I will be honest I dont see too much happening this week due to the holidays. No I will not be overeating and yes I will be doing some type of workout but not the gym and nope not thinking about the miles.... Just being honest with me!!!! I have been studying for my LPC test though!!! LOL so something is right for me!!!!... Ok I have to go but let me leave you with this...


Be thankful for the small things because if your not how will you ever appreciate the big things!!!!

Wishing everyone a safe and happy holiday season..

Monday management... on a Monday! LOL

Its Monday bitches! Lovely ladies that follow my blog!!! How is it going? Ok so it is Monday and surprisingly I am feeling good feeling great!!! I definitely won. I was asked to speak to a big wig of the company and I was not a whistle blower! Ok really they just didn't ask the right questions! LOL ok seriously I spoke very well, and made my supervisor proud (like he asked me to right before the interview)!! … I feel accomplished and I am praying super hard for things (that will be disclosed later) that I want, well feel like I need!

So I thought I would talk about my love affair with “weigh in days”. I LOOOOVE getting on the scale and seeing the number drop however we have all had those weeks were we skip dessert, work out, drink water, you know ALL the things we should do. Then we step on the scale and NOTHING or WORSE some gain… I cannot deal with a gain. It makes me binge I feel discouraged and overeat. Is it just me? I understand that not every week there will be a loss but geesh can there be no gain????? Ugggh… As a result I am toying with weighing every two weeks. Really I am just trying to find what works for me and keeps me loosing… stay tuned for that

Ok enough of that. I am feeling good and need to get some family time in… So here it is… I’m doing well with all my preset goals except my water intake sucked today… I will try really hard but I just don’t like water bring on the sweet tea must do better. This may be slowing me down, so a change must come... Anywho today I did a total of 6 miles 4 of those on the bike. Oh I also shaved a few seconds off the mile time!!! 

Mile time- 13.17... slowly coming down

Still on treadmill.... TIRED!!!!

I have been encouraged to add strength training to boost the weight loss. That in mind today I did upper body weights. It may be time for me to utilize that free personal training you get when you join the gym so that I can get some kind of weight lifting plan because as of now it’s a free for all me just doing what I see others do or have done in the past or saw on Pinterest LOL… And of course some pics…

After workout!!! (I had a cami sports bra on under the shirt) Look at all that sweat (fat crying tears)

Leaving the gym... OMG my hair

So this weekend the fam and I checked out a new church as we are in search for a church home!

Me and mini me...notice the hair then look at the workout pics

Babe is never ready for the car photo shoot... LOL

Mini me ready for church!!!

I washed my hair to be pretty for church... See post workout pic and it is once again a mess!!!! LOL

SO how was your Monday whats new???

*chokes and gags on water to increase daily water intake*

Goal Setting Time!!!!!!

So my long time and new readers know I am desperately trying to lose weight. So after some inspiration from SUSAN to “add on the miles” I have decided I will track my miles per week which I have never done before. I have also decided to continue to take group exercise classes whenever possible because I am embarrassed to stop before the class is over LOL. This way I am sure to get the full 30-60 min of the class plus my miles. So starting Monday (it feels good to say that and know that I have been working out and not binge eating) here are my new goals:

 

• Complete a total of 25 miles per week (Monday- Sunday) with at least 10 of those miles done on the treadmill… (I have a new thing where I ride the bike when I am tired and while I want to count those miles I also need to be getting my walk/jog/run on)
• Shave a whole two minutes off my mile time by December 1, 2012
• Work out at least 6 days per week for at least 45 minutes at a time
• Dedicate 15 minutes per day to my LPC test (more once registered)
• Blog at least twice a week with one of the blogs being an update on these and possibly other goals

Now what is goal setting without REWARDS!!!!!! SO I have given myself little rewards along the way. I am definitely working class so I had to space these goals out! LOL… here they are:

• Lose 15 pounds- buy some one new cute gym outfit (as of today I am 8 pounds down from my unbelievably high tear jerking start weight)
• Lose 25 pounds- buy new gym shoes pumps from Bakers with the bag to match
• Lose 40 pounds- go wedding dress shopping and not cry in the dressing room – (that’s a different post) PLEASE LET THIS HAPPEN BY MARCH!!!!
• Lose 65 pounds- Hello old body, new wardrobe and most importantly- WALK DOWN THE ISLE FULL OF CONFIDENCE IN A MERMAID/ FIT AND FLARE DRESS AND MARRY MY BEST FRIEND!!!!

Looking at these numbers it seems so hard. But what is harder is not being able to come out of the dressing room because you are ashamed and on the verge of tears, being winded from tying your shoe, changing clothes 1000 times every morning looking for something that doesn’t make me look sooo big, and constantly pulling on my shirt to hide the rolls that everyone can see and in my mind are staring at…. So I think going to the gym and popping in a workout DVD when I can’t make it will be just fine!

Thinking my poooor hair... smh

Turbo Jam Cardio Party 3... it won today... I tried to stay "high tempo" the whole tape...

Oh yea does anyone know how to add one of those mile trackers to your blog?...

What do your tears say?

So this morning when the alarm went off I was NOT feeling it in a major way....

Thinking... noooo its not Friday

My clients often ask me who I talk to. I tell them my dad which is true but with him having his own issues I am going to talk to YOU… Yea this one is emotional so buckle up, or run LOL either way here is what I went through at work sitting at my desk…

I often ask my clients “what are your tears saying right now” and they give me a look that says “huh”. So today as I cry I ask myself the same thing…. I have several answers and none at all. I know that money is tight and I hate that the Mister is working to jobs because “we have a wedding to pay for” but should I not be happy that he is a hard worker and does not mind going the extra mile. I have been in this job and this city for about 2 years so my paycheck has not changed (yep no raises hello non profit unless you are one of the higher ups) so why is it suddenly so hard? Why now do I feel stretched soooooo thin that breathing seems hard? Ok so I have been gaining weight for a while and have been to the doctor and now have the answer as to why and no ladies I’m NOT pregnant (don’t curse me like that) I have some bull shit hormone disorder (more on that later) so why now am I upset? Should I not be happy that I am finally committed to working out, eating well and taking my meals one meal at a time, have great weight loss and exercise blogs to stalk read daily, and have joined a wonderful online weight loss support group, (yea I don’t say much but I read it!!!) and finally have more than 1 follower to call me on my crap when I over eat or miss the workout support me. So really what is wrong? What are my tears saying? Or have they just been building up and the dams are broken.  The financial strain has been there and so has the weight so why today do I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders?....

I actually let the tears hit the desk...

Then I pulled it together and went back to work and no one ever knew. So who do you talk to? Who saves the super hero?

Time to grow up

What a world wind of emotions. It never ceases to amaze me how messy humans can be. My ex’s opinion of my engagement is null and void and was not a needed conversation to have… LOL it is actually funny though because people love to run and tell what I am doing so I guess I should be flattered. I will say this though. I am entering into a MARRIAGE this is my home and my family. ANYBODY that is not for this union is against and will be cut. I am at a place where God has blessed me and now I understand why friends are lost in the process. It is saddening that the friends who were all for me when I was chasing loser guys, gaining weight, and being unhappy are a no show now that my priorities have changed. I hate to say this but it’s like they want to see you doing bad. Oh well they will get no more of my attention. I love my family and we have mini me to raise, weight to lose, a wedding to plan and finance, and a lifetime to spend together…. HI HATERS!!!!! *flips hair and looks at left ring finger*

Its a new week!!!!!!

Let me start by saying GO VOTE!!!!!!... this is not a political blog so I don't care you who vote for but OBAMA is Amazing!!!!!!

Hello out there! Here we are on a Tuesday and I am doing my Monday post so I know you are thinking Monday won this week. Buuuuuuuut that's not true. It was a definite tie LOL. It was my first day back at work and that went ok.... A bunch of clients did not show so I did some paperwork. I had two OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) clients so I scattered my desk intentionally.... Cruel huh? NOOOO its to help with the compulsions LOL.

Me wanting to be at home LOL

My desk... Drives them and sometimes me crazy!!!!!

So I stayed at work later than usual which tears my schedule up because of traffic and getting mini me and blah blah so I did not make it to the gym. No worries though Chalene is always there!!!! I did Turbo Jam even though I really did NOT want to. She can be a bit cheesy when you really don't want to work out... "Now pump it" LOL... Its all good because I sweated and I was moving which is always the goal....

Cardio Party 3... and look who made an appearance  "Ms. Bling" lol

Me before I pressed play

Those are me after the workout... I tried to smile and look all happy because too often my workout pictures look like I want to do bodily harm to someone LOL. Working out is fun, or at least that is what I am telling myself!!!!

 The family and I went to Chattanooga for the weekend and here are some pictures...

I dont think Babe enjoyed my impromptu photo session while he was driving LOL

Thats better babe!

My mini Me!!!! Love her

Just so you can understand my hair struggle here is a before and after. I washed my hair and blow dried it then flat ironed it. I have to do this at least twice a week, and more when I am working out daily or I am forced into a pony tail.... The struggle is real!!!!

So as far as my mini goals... I sucked at water intake, and over indulged on Chic-fil-a at work on Monday but I worked out, and spent 15 minutes studying for the big test!

How have you guys been? Whats new?

*sips tea and thinks about doing homework* LOL

Staycation, and mile time

As my FAB week of Staycation ends I need to reflect... this post may be a little long just an FYI.. I managed to lose 4 pounds this week as of Wednesday (Monday will be my official weigh in day from hence forth)!!!! Granted I was totally excited to work out and had the energy as I was not working but it also showed me what I am capable of with some hard work (and lots of stretching  I'm so sore). YAAAY minus four pounds but now I am considering how much extra stress and weight my job adds to my life. 

Got my mile time down woot woot 13.29

I have decided that I need a change, if only in the pay. I am no stranger to hard work and have never had an easy job (if that exists)  but when I look at my workload and my paycheck they are just not comparable. Sure I chose the helping profession and when dealing with people it will always be stressful but there has to be something better than community mental health. That being said I am dedicating fifteen minutes per day (more later) to studying for my NCE test. Once I have an extra 400 or so I will register (then majorly increase my study time) and take the test which will lead me toward being a LPC (licensed professional counselor) and thus open up more options for employment.... I had plans to clean my home and cook everyday and I have managed to cook one time and clean the living room. I did do all my homework for the week prior to it being due. Surprisingly I don't feel bad. I honestly needed a break. I needed to sleep all day after a work out and not be made to feel guilty about it. I'm carrying so much guilt any other time about so many other things so this week I was selfish. I know in hindsight I should have done things differently this week but I needed the breather. I did not want to do anything while I was off so I didn't.... there are so many other things I have to say  but don't know where to start but why whine about it ya know. Its my life and I made whatever decision that got me where I am so I gotta put my big girl panties on and change it. I will say this though. Struggling to lose weight is major and my weight tampers with how I feel about everything else. That being said one day at a time one exercise day at a time I must get this weight off.

Lets end this blog on an up note because with the storms, economy, and price of gas no one needs another downer.... My daughter was some character from monster high again this year. I still have not seen this show but she had a ball trunk or treating in the neighborhood!!! Check her out

*Finishes water, and goes to start cleaning  this nasty ass filthy not so clean place we call home*

Whats in a name...

Hello out there!!! Say my name Say my name if no one is around you say baby I love you... *looks around like I was caught dancing at work* LOL You guys remember that sing by Destiny's Child? It was my jam I got on my moms nerves with that song on repeat LOL. My age may be showing now!...

I digress. The blog world is all a buzz with people telling the meaning behind their blog name so here is mine. Kismet means fate, and is happens to be my favorite word! It is originally from the Turkish language but has been adopted into the English language  I came across this word while reading Cheaters, a book by Eric Jerome Dickey (WHO IS MY FAVE AUTHOR AND THIS IS MY FAVE BOOK). I read this book at least three times a year. I just love it and wish there was a movie... Anyway I eventually had this word inked on my ankle. Symbolizing that every step I take is a step in the direction toward my fate.

Kilograms is a form of measurement. Those of you have been reading a while understand my constant struggle with my weight loss and a lot of my post revolve around this so instead of pounds, I chose kilograms because it starts with a K. No other reason. Sooo essentially my blog name is "fate and weight" but I think Kismet and Kilograms sounds better LOL... My blog was previously called "Kismet of my soul", and some other things that I cannot even remember now.... So there it is.

How did you name your blog?

*signs on to school website to do homework*