Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Music and me feelings...

"Easy" Rascall Flats (duet with Natasha Bedingfield)

We broke upyeah,
it's toughmost guys would've been crushed
Wastin' their time
Wonderin' where they went wrong
No way, not me
Hey, I'm doing just fineI'm not afraid of movin' on

It's easy going out on a Friday night
Easy every time I see her outI can smile, live it up
The way a single guy does
But what she, what she don't knowIs how hard it is to make it look soEasy

[Natasha Bedingfield]
The truth is That I miss lyin' in those arms of his
But I don't ever let it show
I laugh and I act like
I'm having the time of my lifeas far as he knows

It's easy goin' out on a Friday night
Easy, everytime I see him outI can smile, live it up
The way a single girl does
But, what he, what he don't know is how hard it is to make it look so
Easy

Oh, it's easy
Oh, it's easy goin' out on a Friday night
Oh, it's easy every time I see him out
I can smile, live it up
Forget about the way it was
But what she Oh, what he don't know
What she don't know
Is how hard it is to make it look so
EasyLook so easy

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Music and My feelings... a series

This one should be self explanatory

Beyonce-I miss you

I thought that things like this get better with time
But I still need you, why is that?
You're the only image in my mind
So I still see you... around

I miss you, like everyday
Wanna be with you, but you're away
Said I miss you, missing you insane
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?

Words don't ever seem to come out right
But I still mean them, why is that?
It hurts my pride to tell you how I feel
But I still need to, why is that

I miss you, like everyday
Wanna be with you, but you're away
I said I miss you, missing you insane
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?

It don't matter who you are
It's so simple, a feeling
But it's everything
No matter who you loveIt is so simple, a feeling
But it's everything

I miss you, like everyday
Wanna be with you, but you're away
I said I miss you, missing you insane
But if I got with you, could it feel the same?

It don't matter who you are
It's so simple, a feeling
But it's everything
No matter who you loveIt is so simple, a feeling
But it's everything

Music in me

So lately I have been hearing songs and reading poems that all seem to make me think of him on some level or another… Since it has been so many I decided to share a few… You know turn it into some type of series or something lol.. Here is the first one. Drake- Take a shot for me…

I can see it in your eyes, you're angryRegret got sh*t on what you're feeling nowMad cause he ain't like meOh you mad cause nobody ever did it like meAll the care I would take, all the love that we madeNow you're trying to find somebody to replace what I gave to youIt's a shame you didn't keep it, Alicia, KatiaI know that you gon' hear this, I'm the manYeah I said it, B*tch I'm the manDon't you forget itThe way you walk, that's meThe way you talk, that's meThe way you've got your hair up, did you forget that's me?And the voice in the speaker right now: that's me that's meAnd the voice in your ear, that's meCan't you see that I made it? Yeah I made itFirst I made you who you are, then I made itAnd you're wasted, with your ladiesYeah I'm the reason that you always getting fadedTake a shot for me...Oh oh ohTake a shot for me...Oh oh ohTake a shot for me...A shot for me...A shot for me
Ok look, I'm honestGirl I can't lie, I miss youYou and the music were the only things that I commit toI never cheated, for the record, back when I was with youBut you believe in everything but me girl, I don't get youShe says I know you changed, I never see youCause you're always busy doing thingsI really wish she had a different way of viewing thingsI think the city that we're from just kinda ruined thingsIt's such a small place, not much to do but talk and listenThe men are jealous and the women all in competitionAnd now your friends telling you stories that you often misinterpretAnd taint all your images of "Mr Perfect"I could tell that you been crying all night, drinking all summerPraying for your happiness, hope that you recover, uhThis is one I know you hated when you heard itAnd it's worse because you know that I deserve itTake a shot for me...Oh oh ohTake a shot for me...Oh oh ohTake a shot for me...A shot for me...A shot for me
[Outro]May your neighbors respect youTrouble neglect you, angels protect youAnd heaven accept you..

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Complex and Fairytales

They just don’t make them like they used too… LOL this is a convo I had with co workers earlier. It was so refreshing to hear an older black woman says she was looking for a man like her daddy. I was starting to think it was just me. She stated that her parents have been together like 60 plus years and that her father still gets butterflies when her mom walks into the room. Where are they doing that at? LOL Which brings me to my point.. I have the BEST father in the world and I am daddy’s grown woman! LOL He is my rock. When others have been there and said they wouldn’t leave and eventually did he was always there to pick up the pieces. I love him and he has given me a true definition of what a man should do. So later this same day I was asked if I had the Electra Complex …SIDE NOTE I’m a therapist and it was a therapist who asked this question (he was also who inspired a previous blog itching for a niche)… I of course say no but now I am thinking am I terminally single because no one can meet my standards? As I replay the eligibles in my mind my answer is still no. I don’t want the one who thinks he can buy me, or have me on the side, or only have sex with me, or keep me a secret, or keep me around while searching for better (there is nothing better LOL). I want the real thing I want love. I’m old enough to know that the fairy tale I wanted at 16 is NOT happening but a Shrek like fairytale is still an option right? I don’t want to settle my dad taught me I am better than that. So I guess if that means that I will be single for ever its ok. I’ve done the long term relationship thing a couple times. Had a live in who wouldn’t admit that he lived there. I’ve had one that promised the moon and stars and couldn’t even provide a hello at times so I know what I want and it’s NOT my daddy. (that would be gross on too many levels) I do want a man that has some of the same beliefs as my father though. A man that will love me for me not who he had in the past or thinks I should be. I want someone to love all the pieces of me!

*smiles, and nods*

It may be BETTER to be BE QUIET

As we form an opinion it limits what we tell others… now I’m wondering should we be telling them anything anyway? Think about it… if someone is bitter because they were cheated on do we tell them we are considering taking our cheating ex back? I’m thinking no… My question is should we even be discussing the ideas that we are bouncing around in our minds in the first place? In the end it will be you with the cheater or alone not that person. As a therapist I believe in talking to others. However friends often lack the capacity to be objective. They give advice with passion, and love that they feel for you. That’s why the first thing they tell you when pursuing a career in therapy is that we do not give advice. With this being said why are we so quick to reflect aloud with others when the true reflection needs to begin on the inside (or in the inside of a therapist office :) #shameless plug…..

*just a thought… pulls back up work screen*

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Rambling

As I lay here reflefcting and planning my mind is pulled in so many dfferent directions soooo try to stay with me... him, the man I say I'm over. I shrug and say ha ha I'm done with him. I miss him, crave him, and he doesn't care. I miss him everyday and yet I lie and say I'm ok. When does that ish go away? I recognize that it wasn't the healthiest situation and that I deserve better but its him I want.... my friends omg they wear me out too. Its cool because I'm sure I wear them out as well. One friend is lying and being a bitch about money. Granted a couple of her gripes are valid but she is takin things too dam far. Shit get current funds why go after retro? Then there's him...I can't even say because well...eff it I woulnt be me if I didn't... ok him great guy but flawed like the rest of us. You have a small person to raise so stop being a punk and do what you gotta do and be glad she didn't tell her when y'all stopped having sex. I realize that part of the reason she is still spassing out is because real or fake she had hope for the 2 of you and now you are living her dream with someone else.... work omg now they are saying there are no raises [as if my money was funny already] my ends don't meet. Hell at this point I just want them to wave at eachother lol... my dads knee is hurt, my nephew may be beng left home alone, I'm broke, my brother hates me, I'm broke, and I'm stress eating. I've gained 6 pounds in the last week.. dam.... treadmill anyone


*lights candle, sips vodka*


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