Post Pregnancy Update- 8 weeks

Remember my 38 weeks baby bump update? I looked like this:

Well here I am about 8 weeks out and I look like this:

How I am feeling: TIRED!!!! Jaden has a good night where he only wakes up once or twice followed by a night when he doesn't sleep. Literally one night we were up from 1-4am. I'm working on getting him on a schedule but it is hard because I am a fan of letting sleeping babies lie. When else will I shower and attempt to clean up, and SLEEP.

How I am changing: My skin is very squishy. You know that whole mom pouch thing? Well my body feels that way all over. I know that when I get back to the gym I will definitely have to lift more weights. I find that I am still suffering with mommy brain and cant keep two thoughts in my head most of the time. Or I have too many thoughts at one time. Im sure this will all level out soon.

The baby: He is amazing and if you follow me on Instagram you have seen him. He is already very attached to me (which I love) and I highly attribute to the fact that I am breastfeeding.

Weight: I got on the scale (12/12/14) and I saw 219. Whaaatttt!!!!! Yes people 219! Sure that is still high but my pre-pregnancy weight was 223. Which means I have lost all my baby weight and even managed to drop an additional 4 pounds. Breastfeeding definitely has it perks because I really have not been trying to lose weight. I only got on the scale so I would not have some sort of breakdown be in shock when I went for my 6 weeks check up.

As of 1/1/15 the scale gods smiled on me again I weighed in at 216, which is 7 pounds BELOW my pre pregnancy weight. That leaves me with a high weight loss goal but I can handle it I'm sure. That struggled will be plastered all over this blog soon!

No fun facts or other tidbits this moma is going to bed!!!

Its another Monday!!!!!!

Hello out there!!!! I am back!

Well let me start with saying Thank you to EVERYONE that participated in the giveaway (more to come) and have stuck around in my absence. Congrats to the winner Meyoshia, I have dropped it in the mail!!!!… so updates…

IM MARRIED!!!! It was awesome. Of course things did NOT go according to plan but  the reception was a huge party!!!!  I have truly married my soul mate so it’s all good. I will give more details later on through a series of posts I am working on.

I moved! Watch out Pinterest. I am pinning EVERYTHING home décor/organization related. Follow me on Pinterest and I will follow you back.

I wrecked my car and it was totaled out…

 

ugghh and it was super close to being paid off, now I feel like Im starting over blah…. Let me just say that the rental company is super petty because I pulled up in a wrecked Mazda from 2003 they put me in a 2013 Lincoln MKZ… be still my heart… Im in love with this car and will be placing it on my Vision Board!!!!



Remember I got a new job? Well I HATED it. I had that one good day but for the most part it was not great. It was simply not a good fit for me to say the least. So I am back at the therapy thing and honestly I couldn’t be happier. I went back with a raise and a bigger office. I also got some of my old clients back and a few made me cry because they were so happy to see me. One lady said “I’m sorry that whatever didn’t work but I am so dam happy you came back to me!”

I am restarting my weight loss journey. I am officially healed from my hip injury and have gained weight…again *insert as much shame as possible* I had a whole shameful post already but I thought I have said that before and I’m sure the blog world has heard all before. Instead of focusing on the bad I will tell you that last week was a great workout week. I have linked up with my best boo thang Val and she has this whole weekly accountability/motivating email thing going on and it really has helped.

Im not quite ready for scale pics again… hey I’m human and looking at numbers I never wanted to see again is killing me. But I will be weighing in on Mondays once again since that really seemed to work for me…. Stay tuned

My Vows... Gotta love me

If you have keeping up with me you know my weight is a struggle. Along with my health issues, and my hip issues I have been losing motivation because of the gain. Then I read this post by my Bloggy bestie about her renewing her fitness vos and I thought Heck yea that is just what I need (although I do need to be working on my love vows too).

I Toya promise to love and honor myself even if I do not like the number on the scale, and since I dont like that number I will work to change it. This work includes:

• Drinking no less than 80oz of water daily
• Eating baked, lean meat (if you know me you know I love anything fried)
• Including protein at every meal
• Staying away from all the things I love (pizza, cheeseburgers, fries) 6 out of the 7 days weekly
• Not overindulging in my love foods on the 7th day
• Working out no less than 5 days a week
• Limiting alcohol consumption to 1 weekend night per week 
• Celebrating the small victories with something other than food

There you have it. I promise to me to do everything possible to keep these vows to myself. I am a better mom, fiance, and employer when I am taking care of me. I have to create a balance and it restarts today!!!!

*How do you stay motivated? How will you stay on track for the holiday?

It is what it is!!!!!

Hello all!!!!

So my life is all over the place and things are occurring that I just cannot blog about. I guess I need to keep some things to myself. Especially while my emotions are still raw... If anyone would like to guest post I am more than happy to have you do so this week... Im just Debbie Downer and aint nobody got time for that!!!!

In other news I am less than 100 days away from the wedding and totally feeling the stress. My weight is going up. I promised to always keep it real on here so the truth is my weight is skyrocketing. Im not 100 percent sure why aside from the lack of running and the medical issues. My diet lately is 75/25 with the 75 being the time I am eating clean. Sure it could be better but I am human.

I have found a new church home and it is great and the messages each Sunday that I have been seems to be directed at me and I LOVE IT!!!! So while I'm down a little I am not defeated.

Happy Monday!!!!

Monday Management

Is it Monday again??!!! Geesh where is the time going... So the weight loss front has been slow and sad. I am working out still but not being able to run is killing my spirit. I know I know that weight can be controlled by nutrition alone but honestly I struggle with that. The exercise while I feel like Im dying when Im doing it is not the hard part for me. It is that darn kitchen that kills me.... UNTIL today... I dusted off those weight watcher books and I CHOSE ME!!!!! I of course know what NOT to eat but I have got to spice up what I can eat. Counting points and or calories works for me. I read some blog post of mine when I was losing weight and I had a food schedule along with a workout schedule. Im getting back to that place. I got on the scale and it told me what I already know. Im not ready to share here because frankly Im mortified to have to type yet again that Im starting over. Woomp woomp aint no body got time for that!!!! Any who Im a work in progress and I appreciate yall for reading along!!! Happy Monday!

Monday Musings!!!!

Hey Hey today I am making Monday my B@#$%. I wont be sad because the work week has started way too soon. I will be happy that I am gainfully employed and alive to try again. I am linking up with my bloggy bestie and some other lovely ladies and you should too. Tell us what keeps you motivated!!!

I'm motivated for several reasons lately. One being the fabulous wedding dress I have picked out, and the other being I can workout and not worry about my hair!!! Shout out to my stylist!!!!

I recently learned that my hip is NOT ok and that there should be NO running until November. My wedding is in November. I also have other health issues that have flared up and caused some weight gain. I will be honest I was feeling very defeated. Its like the condition causes weight gain and to help it you need to lose weight but I CANT run, or take birth control which causes weight gain. I was really feeling like WTF lets just eat the pain away. I actually feel silly admitting that. After I got through that dramatic and devastating moment I realized something. This running thing is not the only form of cardio. I just have to amp it up. I'm like ok Toya you gonna let a hip and some hormones defeat you? You have survived this that blah blah (my motivating self speech) you CAN do this. So that's what I'm doing. I'm going to work out harder and smarter. I'm going to let my boo put me on the diet that that works best for my hormones and get this weight off!!!!.... Thanks babe for loving ALL of me.... Since no workout/motivating post is complete without sweaty pics enjoy!!!

Random at work pic... I was feeling myself LOL

How Nelly got me through....

Baby your a song that makes me wanna roll my window down and CRUUUIIIISSSEEE... So this is so heavy on my playlist right now. This song is by FLorida Georgia Line and the remix includes Nelly!!! #eyecandymoment

So as I was giving up on the elliptical this song comes on. Im still about to give up because Toyalicious AKA my inner big girl was saying "get on off this machine and go eat" then Nelly says:

[Nelly:]
My windows down, my seats back,
My music up, and we ride.
Her legs up on my dashboard,
And it's just the way I like.
Hey, country girl, this country boy
Like everything about you.
Don't change a thing, no way.
You stay the same, I got you.
I like saw that, all that,
Head to toe you all that.
Tell ol' boy he call back,
Send a text say, "Fall back" 'cause
I can see you got a thing for the fast life.
So come on, shawty, let me show you what the fast like.
Whipping 'cross the border, Florida into Georgia.

'Cause, baby, you a song
And you make me wanna roll my, roll my, roll my, r-r-r-roll.

Then something in me says ok Toya you want your legs up (read the lyrics ppl LOL) you cant be all sloppy with ten million dimples of cellulite so KEEP. GOING. Thats exactly what I did and even out the song on repeat. 

Sometimes you have to pull determination from anywhere and on this particular cardio day it was Nelly talking about cruising with a girl that I assume looks like Ashanti LOL and she is fit too so I had to keep going!!!!

Whats on your playlist?

Back at it photo dump

If you have been reading my blog you know that I recently got back on the wagon, or as my bloggy boo said I let this recent eating debacle be a comma on my journey... I have been back in the gym and hitting it hard. I still don't have the courage to face the she devil, but Im making better choices and working out so when I do face her I will not be mad. plus I can feel it in my clothes that Im not where I was and I would rather not give myself any ammunition to give up (I know me)... Anywho here is a little recap of what has been going on.

This was today's workout. I miss seeing 6-900 calories burned on cardio days. I was running then and maybe all that going hard is how I bruised my hip to begin with lol...

Sunday the Mr and I went to brunch AFTER we went to the gym!!!... Gosh I love this man 

SOOOOOO if anyone knows how my phone did this please tell me because I dont have a clue!!!! but I think its awesome!... Saturday the Mr sung background at a church concert. I was so proud! He has that towel because there was no air and I promise it was no less than 100 degrees in the church.

Yall know he hates pictures but I DO NOT!!!!

HAHAHAHA

I believe this was Thursdays workout

 Here is wednesdays workout. 

SO see I am back in the saddle. There were a couple other workouts but I was looking too much of a hot mess. you know like not even "wow she worked out hard" but like "now she know she don't need to post that picture" LMBO!!!!

Here I go again... Relapse

WTH have I been doing? EATING EVERYTHING.

 I'm not really sure what got me in my fat girl funk but after reading my Bloggy boo's guest post repeatedly I am rejuvenated. I also stalked Joi's page and really looked at her pics (how is her hair always so flawless lol) and thought about how far away I am from really wearing a bathing suit and believe me it helped.

I thought of all the excuses that I could type (stress, emotions, unable to workout, new job, guilt from leaving old job) to justify my behavior but really there is none. Not one excuse that will make my ring no longer sliding on my finger, pants being too tight, and being embarrassed and pulling on my shirt any better.

I promised myself I would be as transparent as possible n this blog and there it is. I am FAILING. However I do not have to continue to fail. I do not have to keep eating everything. I'm disgusted with myself for having to start over YET AGAIN. Its very embarrassing to have to tell you guys that I have essentially relapsed... again, The only way I can stop starting over is to not stop.

I will not be waiting until Monday I WILL be starting again in the morning. I really have no excuse. My daughter is not here so working out before work will be simple. Sleeping is not helping me lose weight anyway... So here is to tomorrow yet another new beginning...

Yea Im avoiding it for now...