X-rays, MRI, oh and its MONDAY!!!!

Well Monday definitely kicked my ass today. Let’s see I woke up at 7:48 I’m supposed to be at work at 8 and on a good day I leave my house at 7:15 on a regular day I leave at 7:25 so yea I was late. Then I had to cancel some clients because I had to get to the doctor… 

Oh yea I haven’t shared on here yet. So I recently (about 1 month ago) decided my goal was to workout 6 days a week. The week I started that I began to feel an intense pain in my… uh… *looking for a technical term*… hell its Monday… panty line area. The way I describe it is where my leg connects to my body. I have heard the professionals call it my hip, and groin. So I get to the doctor they do the second X-ray (I had one last Tuesday after I couldn't walk) and she talks, pokes, prods, and says it sounds “like a tear but I need to see what’s going on in there.” 

Unfortunately these X-rays only reminded me that I have PCOS, because yes I'm a doctor and can read the scans so I know exactly what I am looking at... Ummmm NOOOO I saw dots and spots that looked like cyst in my pelvic region and I'm of course freaking out thinking wow its more than when I had the ultra sound (they totally may not be cysts), and  oh yea I need to find a new OBGYN or go see the one that was slic rude. That's another post...

So then I’m sent for a same day MRI (because lets be real I cant keep taking off work, I need that PTO for the wedding and my mental health days LOL). This was the first MRI I have ever had. Let me tell you baby that small tube, coffin like, loud ass machine is not my friend. The guy who did the MRI was nice, smelled like man cologne, yes I said man cologne my daughter started that and that’s a completely different post.

Before and after the MRI... Maybe I should have brushed my hair LOL

BUT HE LIED just like a man. LOL. He told me my head would be in one spot then the machine pushes me further into the coffin like thing that is the MRI machine. A minor freak out occurred then I reminded myself that I’m a therapist and to breathe deeply and imagine myself in a safe place…. 

Now since I have been injured I have not worked out in a week. This has lead to some depression, feeling like goal weight will never occur and downright sad Sally type thinking. Do I know this is wrong? Do I know this will pass? Do I know that running is not the only way to lose weight? Yes to all. BUT I have developed a relationship with running and Im not sure I want to give it up. Since I have been running I can see some really good results. 

However I will be real, sad Sally is a TWIN to Fat Toya and we have been EATING AND DRINKING everything in sight. Nope I have not been on the scale I don’t even want to know. 

Here is what I do know engagement pictures are scheduled for June 8. I have been working my budget so that everything I wear for this shoot will be new except maybe my shoes (only because I have no more room for shoes and I have some I’m dying to have photographed). I WANT A SMALLER SIZE DAMNIT!!!!!! So you know what that means...Drinking water like I’m being paid, no alcohol except on weekends, cardio 6 days a week even if it’s the elliptical and no running, and very little if any carbs. I have to get back to what works for me… Hell the last time I did this I lost 7 pounds in one week. You think that would be enough to make me stick with it...This is a journey and I will take it day to day. 

Hello my name is Toya and I’m an emotional eater…