Wellness Wednesday- Self Love- Link Up

Today I am linking up with The Real Texas Housewife  and the rest of the Just Us Girls for a Valentines Day love post.

Since it also happens to be Wednesday and I'm trying desperately to stick to a schedule today we will talk about SELF LOVE. I am a firm believer that you cannot truly love someone else or accept their love if you do not love yourself.

So what is self love? Self love goes beyond being satisfied with the image in the mirror although that is a part of it. It includes accepting yourself flaws and all. Knowing that you will make mistakes but pushing forward and continuing this journey of life anyway. It means understanding you will never be perfect because no one is and not even Beyonce and Oprah have it all together all the time. If that definition is too vague let me give you some things to practice in order to increase your self love.

1. Learn to say NO. No one can do it all. If you already have plans or are feeling stretched to thin, say no. It is perfectly ok to focus on you and not take on "just one more thing."

2. Find the positive. Life will throw you curve ball after curve ball, and give you lemons when you have been begging for oranges. You have to learn to roll with life. Maybe you secretly are allergic to oranges and the universe is trying to help you out. So take the lemons and make lemonade. Or if you are like me make a mimosa with the lemonade!

3.Know that it is ok not to be ok. Sometimes you have a bad day. That is perfectly normal. Life will not go EXACTLY how you want it all the time. There is nothing wrong with having a bad day. The problem is turning that bad day into a bad life. You must learn to move on from past mistakes, failures, and heartbreak.

4. Focus on what you do have. Often we look at the life of celebrities or even our more well to do friends and we get dare I say it...jealous. We start to question our own lives and wonder why we are unable to take those trips, have that job, get married, wear those clothes, make money from our blogs, or whatever it is. When really having it all is a myth. You don't see the work they put into their marriage or the sleepless nights creating blog post. While you may not be living the fanciest life I am sure you are blessed in many ways. The most valuable things in life are the people you have in your life and the love you have for your loved ones.

I'm no fool I know material things are great and I would love to take a trip to somewhere tropical twice a year but that is just not the life I have right now. So since I want that life I have to love me enough to go after it. If you don't like it change it!

Image from Google

What do you do for self care? How do you take care of yourself?

Monday Mimosa Love

How is it February already? Seriously I was just pushing out my baby boy and deciding if I would post him to social media, next it was New Years and now its February? Wow time is passing by! How is everyone doing on their resolutions? This month on the blog I will be doing a love theme. So all month I will work to create post about some type of love. Lets start with the Superbowl mimosas I made and Loved lol....

 I'm still breastfeeding so I needed something light. I immediately went to Pintrest and the possibilities are endless. So here is how I did mine.

I made the traditional orange juice and Champagne mix first. I love fruit garnish on my drinks so I added grapes to my flute and topped it with a pineapple. I really wanted a strawberry but I didn't have any.

Next I tried it with lemonade. This was great. I will suggest though get the juice with no pulp. I forgot to specify this when my niece went to the store. It wasn't a big deal for me but hubby instantly said "hmm it has pulp in it."

A while ago (like before baby number 2) hubby and I went to brunch where they served unlimited mimosas and one of them had beer in it. So who would I be to deny myself my family the full experience. LOL! Come on I'm the same woman that gave away alcohol shots at her baby shower. Of course I would try it with beer. I liked it. My mom noted that it gave a more "alcohol like taste" she was not a fan of the "sweet girly drink."

One thing to keep in mind is to serve it cold. I noticed when the champagne got a little warm it was not as good to drink.

Judging by this gif of me I really enjoyed myself. 

Does adding couple shots make this post relate to love? If not let me add I will be having a mimosas for Valentines Day sense it was a hit. 

Clearly this was taken before that awful call to throw the ball...

Have you ever had mimosas? Do you enjoy them? What are your favorite ingredients??

Wellness Wednesday- Postpartum Depression

Mixed emotions, depression and anxiety are a part of giving birth for most women. Of course there are those that say they never felt sad but whatever to them. This post is not for you. 

Postpartum depression (PPD) is mild to severe depression occurring after a woman gives birth. It typically occurs within the first three months postpartum, but can happen right after delivery and up to one year after birth. PPD is different from the baby blues as it is long lasting. Baby blues are natural reaction to such a major life change and the symptoms usually fade within two weeks.. 

While there is no single cause for PPD there are several factors involved. After having a baby there is a significant drop and change in your hormones. Other factors contributing to PPD include financial strain, life stress, difficulty feeding the baby (for breast feeders), a baby with colic, and lack of support. Also of note those suffering with depression or having suffered with depression in the past are at greater risk for PPD.

 Postpartum depression symptoms may include:

• Loss of appetite
• Insomnia
• Intense irritability and anger
• Overwhelming fatigue
• Loss of interest in sex
• Lack of joy in life
• Feelings of shame, guilt or inadequacy
• Severe mood swings
• Difficulty bonding with your baby
• Withdrawal from family and friends
• Thoughts of harming yourself or your baby

If these symptoms persist for more than two weeks or begin to interfere with your ability to care for your baby it is time to seek help. You may start by calling your OBGYN and they may make necessary referrals.

Postpartum depression is a REAL thing. If you happen to be one of the women who has/had this struggle SEEK HELP. There is no shame. Never let anyone make you feel like a bad mother for having this disorder. I would say it takes a better and stronger mom to admit to having PPD and seek help. Remember you can not be the best for your family if you are not well.

Post Pregnancy Update- 8 weeks

Remember my 38 weeks baby bump update? I looked like this:

Well here I am about 8 weeks out and I look like this:

How I am feeling: TIRED!!!! Jaden has a good night where he only wakes up once or twice followed by a night when he doesn't sleep. Literally one night we were up from 1-4am. I'm working on getting him on a schedule but it is hard because I am a fan of letting sleeping babies lie. When else will I shower and attempt to clean up, and SLEEP.

How I am changing: My skin is very squishy. You know that whole mom pouch thing? Well my body feels that way all over. I know that when I get back to the gym I will definitely have to lift more weights. I find that I am still suffering with mommy brain and cant keep two thoughts in my head most of the time. Or I have too many thoughts at one time. Im sure this will all level out soon.

The baby: He is amazing and if you follow me on Instagram you have seen him. He is already very attached to me (which I love) and I highly attribute to the fact that I am breastfeeding.

Weight: I got on the scale (12/12/14) and I saw 219. Whaaatttt!!!!! Yes people 219! Sure that is still high but my pre-pregnancy weight was 223. Which means I have lost all my baby weight and even managed to drop an additional 4 pounds. Breastfeeding definitely has it perks because I really have not been trying to lose weight. I only got on the scale so I would not have some sort of breakdown be in shock when I went for my 6 weeks check up.

As of 1/1/15 the scale gods smiled on me again I weighed in at 216, which is 7 pounds BELOW my pre pregnancy weight. That leaves me with a high weight loss goal but I can handle it I'm sure. That struggled will be plastered all over this blog soon!

No fun facts or other tidbits this moma is going to bed!!!

Wellness Wednesday- Sacrificing Comfort for Change

Remember when I started Wellness Wednesday? With the new year approaching one of my goals is to be more consistent with that. Since we all like to set goals for the new year I thought this guest post  from a great friend of mine Keana would be perfect. Please enjoy!

Hey! I’m Keana Nwaneri and I’m the creator and editor of Starting the Conversation Blog. I’m a graduate, Clinical Mental Health Counseling student with a passion for mental health and total wellness. I’m originally from St. Louis, MO but currently reside in Nashville, TN

Sacrificing Comfort For Change

In the counseling world, we use the transtheoretical model or Stages of Change model to assess how “ready” and/or committed a client is, to changing a particular behavior.

With New Year’s right around the corner and everyone on social media sharing what they want to change this year, I thought I’d share a few tips on creating long-lasting change.

One of my favorite people once told me “it’s not about how much you want to loose weight, it’s about how willing you are to give up eating cheeseburgers.” I laughed because for some reason, that was hilarious to me but afterwards, I thought long and hard about that statement. It really resonated with me. Although he wasn’t talking about me when he made that statement, in a lot of ways, I was able to apply that to my own life and the things that I wanted to change but just couldn’t find the motivation to.

The Stages of Change Model explained

The first stage of change is the precontemplation stage. In this stage, you may not even realize that there is a problem, or you may simply not be ready or willing to fix it.

The next stage of change is the contemplation stage. At this stage, you’ve admitted that there is a problem and are considering initiating change.

Next is the preparation stage. Here, you’re deciding that you want to change and preparing for action.

The next stage is the action stage. Here you are actively engaged in the process and taking the steps necessary to initiate behavior change.

Lastly, there is the maintenance stage. Here, you work to maintain the change(s) you have made.

While the stages are pretty straight forward, an important note to remember is that each person works through these stages at their own pace and unfortunately, it’s not always in this exact order. Change can be difficult, scary or just plain old uncomfortable but know that that’s to be expected. Don't let these feeling deter you from your ultimate goal or behavior change.

Being Honest with Yourself

If you find that your New Year’s Resolutions aren’t happening as fast as you would like, just take a step back, breath and be patient with yourself. However, if you find that you are making little to no progress after long periods of time, you may want to reassess your goal(s). Ask yourself:

1) Why is this goal / behavior change (BC) important to me? What does it represent, if anything?
2) How will this goal / BC improve your life?
3) Is this the only way I can go about achieving my goal / BC?
4) What will it take for me to achieve this goal /BC?
5) How willing am I to commit myself to doing what it will take to achieve this goal / BC?

After answering these questions, you should have a better idea of what it really is that you are wanting and how serious you are about doing, or not doing, what is necessary to make it happen. Because while having goals and wanting to change a behavior may sound like a great idea, you have to do the work for them to materialize, and unfortunately, there is no shortcut to success.

Ok guys if you would like to connect more with Keana you can read her BLOG and follow her other social media accounts below.

FACEBOOK

INSTAGRAM

TWITTER

PINTEREST

Super Woman is a Cartoon- Lets Be Real

Lately I have been having a ton of mixed unexplained emotions. This is to be expected because I had a baby on November 5 sending my emotions on a roller coaster.  I have been having some extreme mommy and wife guilt mixed with mild depression and anxiety that is on steroids. I have been feeling as if I should be doing more despite all that I am doing. Then it hit me whose standards was I using to determine how well I was doing anyway? superwoman?

Photo cred- http://illumistrations.tumblr.com/

 That chick doesn't exist. So in an effort to self soothe and help other women I came up with these 4 things that all new moms and women in general need to remember:

1. Appreciate that you cant do it all all the time. If your feeding the baby (or working on a project for the non moms) then in that moment your not doing anything else. So laundry, dinner, and calling your friend back all have to wait. Don't try to multi task unless you have to while the baby is so young.  You have plenty of time to become a multi tasking master.

2. Accidents happen!- They are inevitable and no one but Jesus is perfect. You will poke your baby in the cheek trying to get that onesie on. You will warm the milk to much and have to wait for it to cool as your baby screams bloody murder. You will use the breast pump and then spill the liquid gold you drained from your sore boob. Learn to laugh and move forward.

3. Do something for you even if it is small- Lets be honest sometimes getting out of bed to shower and make sure you change your pajamas is a whole task especially when you have a new baby and your always tired. However fresh pajamas and combing your hair does wonders for you. You feel a little more human and little less dairy-cow/robot if you keep up on your hygiene.  If you are a makeup lady put some on. For me its singing loudly in the shower and taking my scarf off and combing my hair. Its small but it keeps me sane.

4.Lower the bar.- This does not mean be a loser or be complacent but Pinterest, Facebook, movies and magazines will have you feeling bad because the other moms "have it all together". They craft, cook, organize all while wearing heels and a full face of make up making it look super easy. Well let me just tell you They lied!!!! They put their best foot forward on social media for the likes and other numbers and we all know tv land and magazine world is not real. Half the chicks in the magazine don't even have children that is why they don't have stretch marks.

The way I see it if you are juggling all your responsibilities and meeting deadlines in life and work you are the real super woman. Give yourself a pat on the back... too bad we dont have capes!

What are your tips for time management?
How do you stay sane when it seems you have so much to do?

To Share or Not To Share

As a blogger I think about taking pictures of EVERYTHING. Often when I am out of topics I simply go through my phone and see what stories the pictures tell. There are times that my husband is pissed, embarrassed, or a combination off the two because I will instantly whip my phone out saying "I need it for my blog" or "I need to document that."

It wasn't until recently that I started to think, do I share too much? Does everything need to be on Instagram? I am in no way a mega blogger and I have been blessed that I have not been attacked for what I share (at least to my knowledge). Still now that I promote posts on Facebook I realize I have opened my blog up to a whole new world. Its no longer me and my bloggy world friends, its people that I know and even people that I do not like. While the exposure is great and does well for my numbers I am more aware of what I share. I am also edited in what aspects of my life I share when I never was before,

After having my son I went on a social media blackout refusing to allow others to post pictures of him and not even posting my own. I realized that some things should be kept private. When you are uploading pictures and responding to comments you cant fully be present in the moment. One thing I regret about my engagement is posting it to social media so soon. I should have waited a day because once it hit the web I was wrapped up in repeating the story and responding to comments. I should have just been in the moment with my boo.

Back to present day...My cousin came over to see my son and my mom instantly starts showing her pictures she took while I was in labor. I love my cousin but those pictures are not for everyone. It actually made me regret allowing my mom to be a part of the process. Everything is not for everybody. My lady parts were out, my hair was wrapped up, I had a towel over my head I looked a hot mess. No one needs to see that but us. No one needs to be privy to those moments except those that were there.

Then I questioned was I being to hard on my mom because I share a lot of things via this blog and my other social media accounts. Then it hit me I share MY business not others. I share aspects of my life that I don't mind others knowing, I am in control of what others see as it pertains to my life. There are a million aspects of my life and only about a thousand do I share. I shouldn't have to explain why I want to be the first to debut my son on social media. Nor should I have to defend not posting him online. He is MY child. I have sense posted TONS of pictures of my son but on my terms.

I think people should be allowed to share what they want about their lives and people need to respect that just because the picture is in their phone doesn't make it their business to share.

What do you all think? How much of your friends and families lives do you share on your social media?