6 Practical Reasons Marriage is Awesome!!

Married life definitely comes with ups and downs but I must say there are some things that you appreciate so much more if you are married. As I was thinking about some of the things my hubby and I have been through lately I came up with this fun list of things that makes marriage awesome.

1. Slumber parties with your best friend every night. I love getting into bed and just looking at him and being able to say ANYTHING and it is ok! Trust what happens on this blog (as real as I keep it)  is edited and I use my filter. After about 7pm the filter is broken and my husband listens to me and my thoughts with little to no judgement. I'm sure some nights he is like who did I marry again

2. The sex somehow gets better. Sex is also very important to taking care of your man.. Marinate on that!

      

3. You have a guaranteed partner in crime (spousal privilege lol). No seriously your spouse will go to the chick flick with you and you in turn will go to the sporting events. No matter what it is you no longer have to go through this life alone.

4.  No more weddings alone! For me especially this means I no longer feel obligated to dance to Single Ladies while twerking extra hard and plastering on a huge smile.

hubby was recently a groomsmen and when Beyonce single ladies was played I was all to happy to stay seated

5. So I am just going to say it. No matter how much you make two incomes is just better than one. Sure I had my own money and career and such prior to November 30, 2013 but having his is a bonus!

6. My husband is taller and stronger than me and I LOVE it! So when something is out of reach there is no more climbing on counters or searching for a step stool I simply ask him. Same for opening jars, and other things I struggle with!

Five ways to care for your man!!!

So as you all know I got married last November. Well honey let me tell you because no one else will. It is no walk in the park. It is fun but equally trying. Recently I came cross this post about being a better wife. It spoke volumes to my soul this lady said it perfectly for me because being a good wife is something I legit have to work at. It doesn't come naturally to me. I guess I am just wired differently. Please understand I love my husband but its the other stuff that causes me to struggle. 

Later I check my inbox and I see this post again speaking to soul and It made me think, there has to be more than just us struggling with this marriage thing. Why is it so wrong for women to say that they need help being a wife? It doesn't mean there is no love or that there is cheating. It simply means help is needed.

I'm not sure I had a good example of what being good wife is so I did some research by talking to some married friends of mine (like I need a reason to gossip on the phone lol). The number one thing I kept hearing was "you gotta take care of ya man." Well the therapist in me couldn't handle the vague taking care of your man answer. I asked for clarity and here is what they came up with:

SEX- This was the number one answer. Of course I have friends who said that marriage is more than sex, but still the majority said sex

FOOD- Another popular answer was to ensure that there is always dinner or whatever meal your husband may need depending on the shift he works. 

TAKING CARE OF HOME- Another answer I had to dig a little deeper for. This means ensuring the kids are well kept, the house is decent (clean if you stay home), and you have basically filtered out the bullshit that will only increase his load.

BEING SUPPORTIVE-  Encouraging him as the world is tough an men want to and need to know they are doing a good job as the man of the house. This also includes supporting his dreams (even if you feel like being a wife and mom are slowly killing yours because after all you chose this life).

PRAY- So only a few people said this one. I personally think it should be at the top but I am sticking true to what my "married friends" said. This one is a great one. I notice when my hubby and I are praying together daily our relationship is smoother, and things seem to align. As soon as we get too comfortable and slack on the daily prayers together things get rocky.

Photo by Meredith Brown

These things all seem really easy but when you are working and raising children it is easy to fall into a pattern of boring and waiting on Friday. Then Friday comes and you are dog tired and all you can think about is sleep your spouse may go neglected. Then you think Oh we have Saturday but in my case Saturday is packed with youth sports and errands and once again your spouse has gotten the short end of the stick.

All in all marriage is  a hard, winding, two way street that has to be walked if not ran EVERY single day in order to make it work. Hopefully this small list will help some newlywed working mom like it helped me. I am making a genuine effort to do each of these things weekly some are harder than others (that's what she said!!!) just based on weekly incidents but I'm thinking if I do all five in a week he should notice a difference and married life will be a tad easier.

Ok married ladies what are your thoughts??...

Jumping The Broom!

Who would have ever guessed that I would fall in love with DIY? I'm not sure if its the thought of using a glue gun, saving money, or Hobby Lobby's 50% wedding items sale but I really enjoyed crafting for my wedding. I have never imagined my wedding without the "jumping of the broom." That is one tradition that I was really looking forward to. So the hunt was on. I scrolled through Etsy, Amazon, Ebay, my married friends boxes and even Pinterest searching for a broom. 

 

What I wanted was something simple, light and dark purple, and a hint of bling. I found some that were perfect but for 100 plus bucks I was like HEEEEECK NO LOL. I searched everywheere and the cheaper ones werent what I was looking for and it seemed like adding bling to a broom meant more bucks being removed from my checking account. Then it hit me DIY!!!!!!!! Once again my supplies come from Hobby Lobby who did not pay me nor do they have anything to do with this post.

 

 

 

 

Yep its the same blong from my wedding programs!

 

The flowers are from Hobby Lobby, Dollar General, Dollar Tree or maybe all three... I spent a lot of time in those stores so I am really not sure. They were in a bundle and I just pulled them apart.



I really wish I had a before picture of this broom. My husband bought it from Hobby Lobby in Detroit and there was a scarecrow attached. My hubby is not a blogger so before pics dont mean a lot to him... He spray painted the handle purple.

Wrapped it in ribbon...

Here are a few of the options I played around with.

 

 

Of course mini me helped, and she was very excited

 

 

We tinted the bristles purple just to be different LOL

 

 

 

This is the broom I jumped when I married my boo... I should start selling these things it was super fun to make!!

 



Wedding To Do List

 

 

Hello ladies here is a little wedding update. I have been a total slacker since I put together my binder LOL. I was thinking ok I’m organized so its cool. Then I thought maybe I’m ahead of the game. I have never fully planned a wedding so hell I was just winging it from the list I have collected.  SOOOO I browsed the internet and went to my go to girl for wedding planning. She was nice enough to email little ole me her to do list. I will be honest she is doing waaaay more than I am (I wanted to say dang girl what is your budget but that’s a bit ummm well less than tactful  LOL) but her list is great! I took a bunch of things off and adjusted it to what Im actually doing you can go to her cite for the full list.  Let me check my actual progress

Set a date

Book a venue

Book photographer

Book videographer (ONLY if it is in the budget)

Book DJ

Ask bridal party to be in wedding

Create wedding website (working on that currently)

Book florist (found one need to put the deposit down for it to be official)

Buy wedding dress (not even looking until June I have soooo much more weight to lose)

Lose 70 pounds (I’m down about 25)

Select bridesmaid dresses

 Select and order groom & groomsmen attire (that’s on the Mr.)

Book cake baker

Buy cake knife and server (am I doing this?)

Order save the dates

Finalize guest list

Antique cake stand

Cake topper

Ring pillow

Order save the dates- these are picked just not ordered

Send save the dates

Order guest book (my photographer is making this with our engagement pictures)

Reserve hotel room blocks

MOB & MOH & MTOH dress shopping

Find wedding shoes

Choose wedding jewelry

Find garter

Clutch for bride

Something old

Something new- the dress counts right?

Something borrowed

Something blue

6 pence- (what’s this?)

Make day-of emergency kit

Going away outfit (maybe)

Book makeup artist and hair stylist

Wedding favors- candy bar only if its in the budget

Getting ready outfit for bride and bridesmaids

Menu tasting

Cake tasting

Hair and makeup trial

Dress fitting (HA I don’t even have a dress)

Order invitations (get custom artwork finished)

Send invitations

Bridal party gifts

Purchase wedding bands

Put together picture list for photographer- this is done I just need to send it to her

Get marriage license- will do that after we complete counseling

Book transportation for wedding party (this is for the Mr.)

Welcome bags- not sure we are doing this any ideas to make it budget friendly????

Gift for Groom

Music selection for band and for ceremony (In progress)

Playlists for cocktail hour and rehearsal dinner

Book wedding night hotel room- I think this is in my package???

Order thank you notes

Tips and thank you notes for vendors

GET MARRIED!!

 

Ceremony:

 

Book musician

Book church

Pre-marital counseling (In progress)

Programs

 

Reception:

Book caterer (included at the hotel)

Order rentals (may not need any)- I think I only need white table cloths

Decorations for bride and groom’s chairs- my designer is doing this

Cocktail music etc

Flip flops or nice flats

 

Rehearsal Dinner: (Well I have to decide if we are doing this, it may not be in the budget)

Book venue

Rehearsal dinner music

Rehearsal dinner décor/flowers/cups

Rehearsal dinner caterer

Rehearsal dinner rentals

Order invitations

Send invitations

 

Excetra:

Bachelorette party- this is for the MOH and the Matron of honor

Bachelor party- not sure

Bridal showers- my girls will handle this

Book honeymoon- this is for the Mr.

Honeymoon shopping- waiting for the proverbial weight loss

 Hostess gift for all my showers- Waiting to see how many I have

 

Now  looking at this list, I had better get busy. I left some comments next to things and if you have any advice, websites, or tricks to save money and keep it fabulous PLEASE by all means let a girl know!!! Something’s are waiting for other things like no save the dates until the engagement pics are done. So it seems that I have made some progress but still have a bit to do.  I will keep you guys updated….READY SET GO!!!!!

Happy New Year- photo dump and reflection

Hello Bitches!!!!! This post is a little lengthy and picture heavy FYI....It is officially a new year and I need to get my crap all the way in line because in 333 days I will strut my fat ass if I cannot stop eating everything in sight hotness down the aisle. But first let me catch you all up on some other things... You all know my aunt passed (and a week after she was buried her husband of 27 years, my whole life, died. Seemingly from a broken heart) and we were finally able to bury her. So the family loaded up and went to New Orleans.... If you follow my Instagram you have seen a few of these. If not go follow now

She was totally not sleep LOL... She loves her granddad!

 The fiance and I being silly in the hotel...

He will only indulge me to a point... 

I almost feel bad for him because I love pictures!!!... Surprise Surprise my brother Martels came to New Orleans. He has been only one other time that I can remember, and we go at least once a year...

My oldest brother Cederic's Daughter and my mini me

My father and his brother Charles

My cousins came and got me and took me to my first drag show, or "punk show" as they called it. It was an experience but not what I had hoped. Side note- I watch Noah's Arc, anything else by Patrick Ian Polk I can find, and Queer as folks, so I was excited and a but let down.... However my cousin was one of the "stars" per say... and here he is Katey Red/ Kenyon Carter himself... Google him and let me know what you find LOL

My little cousin Zion

The gas station has alcohol!!!!

Road snack, it was gluten free and said jalapeno so I was game. It was good too!

IDK why I took this pic maybe to remind me that we stopped in AL? LOL

My Father and My Daughter

She was awakened to use the potty

Shameless selfie in the bathroom LOL

How I started the trip at 6am

Just us being silly

So I recently added weight lifting to my routine in hopes that the weight will come off quicker. I have been doing well with my workout I just need to reign my eating back in. With 333 days to go I have NO time to play. It is like I am a moron when it comes to food. I know in my brain that what I eat makes a huge difference and that all my sweat is for nothing if I'm not eating right but I STRUGGLE!!! I will be honest the holiday season, vacations, funerals, and travels gave me just the excuse I needed to let my fat girl come out to play...

I even went to the gym while on vacation!!!

My nephew!!! I love this BABY!!!!

MY FAMILY being silly

Please keep in mind my daughter's life goal is to be an FBI agent and we watch Criminal minds. Please don't Judge me its always on ION and cable is not in the budget!!!!

Getting Ready

In her gear eyeing the suspect

SHE GOT HIM!!! LOL

LMBO!!!!!!!!! I was cracking up as this whole scene unfolded!!!!!.... This is me on the second to the last date night me and the Mr had in 2012. I know my hair is terrible but I WORK OUT!!!! my shoes were killer but they didn't make the photo... Yet another reason you should follow my Instagram *shameless plug*

Telling myself suck it in you don't look too fat... #lies

Reflection- While 2012 gave me 30 extra pounds it also gave me the love of my life. When I tell you this man drives me insane at times BUT he is so Amaze-Balls!!!! He loves all of me in spite of me, and is super with my daughter. Before we were ever engaged he was already saying "my daughter this, my daughter plays soccer." I never knew what it was like to have a man that actually cared and wanted to be the man if the house and love his woman, and not do these things for social media or for the hype but because that is who he is as a man. *Shoutout to his PARENTS*  He is everything I need in a man and I must lose weight so that he can have a Pinterest worthy moment when he sees me walk down the aisle.  that I feel great when I walk down the aisle and I am healthier all around... With the economy, violence, down low men, and all around bad things in the world I feel so blessed to be in a better more settled place in my life this year. I do not do new years resolutions because that crap rarely makes it February  I am going to continue to strive to be a better person, Christian, mother, fiance, and therapist. I understand that growth is a constant but I am dam sure going to enjoy the journey because life is not promised.

*HAPPY NEW YEAR LADIES* LETS MAKE IT GREAT! I AM WISHING YOU ALL GREAT BLESSINGS AND AT LEAST 10 NEW FOLLOWERS EACH!!! LOL