Wellness Wednesday- Sacrificing Comfort for Change

Remember when I started Wellness Wednesday? With the new year approaching one of my goals is to be more consistent with that. Since we all like to set goals for the new year I thought this guest post  from a great friend of mine Keana would be perfect. Please enjoy!

Hey! I’m Keana Nwaneri and I’m the creator and editor of Starting the Conversation Blog. I’m a graduate, Clinical Mental Health Counseling student with a passion for mental health and total wellness. I’m originally from St. Louis, MO but currently reside in Nashville, TN

Sacrificing Comfort For Change

In the counseling world, we use the transtheoretical model or Stages of Change model to assess how “ready” and/or committed a client is, to changing a particular behavior.

With New Year’s right around the corner and everyone on social media sharing what they want to change this year, I thought I’d share a few tips on creating long-lasting change.

One of my favorite people once told me “it’s not about how much you want to loose weight, it’s about how willing you are to give up eating cheeseburgers.” I laughed because for some reason, that was hilarious to me but afterwards, I thought long and hard about that statement. It really resonated with me. Although he wasn’t talking about me when he made that statement, in a lot of ways, I was able to apply that to my own life and the things that I wanted to change but just couldn’t find the motivation to.

The Stages of Change Model explained

The first stage of change is the precontemplation stage. In this stage, you may not even realize that there is a problem, or you may simply not be ready or willing to fix it.

The next stage of change is the contemplation stage. At this stage, you’ve admitted that there is a problem and are considering initiating change.

Next is the preparation stage. Here, you’re deciding that you want to change and preparing for action.

The next stage is the action stage. Here you are actively engaged in the process and taking the steps necessary to initiate behavior change.

Lastly, there is the maintenance stage. Here, you work to maintain the change(s) you have made.

While the stages are pretty straight forward, an important note to remember is that each person works through these stages at their own pace and unfortunately, it’s not always in this exact order. Change can be difficult, scary or just plain old uncomfortable but know that that’s to be expected. Don't let these feeling deter you from your ultimate goal or behavior change.

Being Honest with Yourself

If you find that your New Year’s Resolutions aren’t happening as fast as you would like, just take a step back, breath and be patient with yourself. However, if you find that you are making little to no progress after long periods of time, you may want to reassess your goal(s). Ask yourself:

1) Why is this goal / behavior change (BC) important to me? What does it represent, if anything?
2) How will this goal / BC improve your life?
3) Is this the only way I can go about achieving my goal / BC?
4) What will it take for me to achieve this goal /BC?
5) How willing am I to commit myself to doing what it will take to achieve this goal / BC?

After answering these questions, you should have a better idea of what it really is that you are wanting and how serious you are about doing, or not doing, what is necessary to make it happen. Because while having goals and wanting to change a behavior may sound like a great idea, you have to do the work for them to materialize, and unfortunately, there is no shortcut to success.

Ok guys if you would like to connect more with Keana you can read her BLOG and follow her other social media accounts below.

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Passions

Joi is really making me add more depth to my posts… I like it though *thinks about blog direction* … Im so easily distracted today LOL. Today’s challenge is to discuss what you are passionate about or to create an online vision board. It’s funny I was just telling the Mr that I needed to go get some poster and stuff for my vision board (see the mind distractions LOL)…

 

 

So Im sitting here and Im thinking what am I passionate about and nothing comes to mind because I want to be truthful. There are things I love like organizing, and I have a whole Pinterest board dedicated to it, but then I don’t stick with it. I tell myself I will be a crafter but eh I get tired or do something else. Then I realized its fitness working out/running and mental health so let me see if I can combine the two.

See how happy I  am leaving the gym

 These are just random workout pics I had on my phone. LOL

 

I have discussed some of my journey and if you have been keeping up you know I have a bruised bone and I’m on crutches however I am still compiling workouts and circuits that I want to try, and Im literally yarning for the gym. The lifting, running, sweating and grunting. I love to hit the gym and it wasn’t until now I was able to pin point why I am in SUCH A FUNK. Sure crutches are bad and tiresome but I miss running, and timing myself and watching my body change and beating yesterdays time, or lifting more weight than I did last week. I miss working out.

If you really knew me you would understand how baffling this is. I used to not be the gym type. Always worried about my hair and making excuses to continue to be lazy. Then I finally get into a groove and boom I’m down for three weeks. It has been devastating. Let me be clear I am no guru and I usually look up workouts before I go to the gym and then look all crazy checking my phone to see what exercise is next but I Love it! I was building a mini/very small home gym with hand weights, stability ball, ankle weights, aerobic stepper, and cords and I can’t wait to get back to it.

My personal home gym  has this stuff minus the bench, and bars in the back (sorry I didnt snap a pic last night)

This is an example of what I would do in the gym... Oh how I miss it 

 

Now for the mental health. Bottom line I am an advocate. Goget yourself help. The idea of Wellness Wednesday (that I have been sucking at lately) actually came from this. There is such a stigma placed on mental health and it can keep people from seeking the help they desperately need. I think everyone should have 6 sessions minimum per life time. If nothing more learn time management, or just vent and not feel judged.

 



The world of community mental health is a dark place that I visit every Monday – Friday. I say dark because I have seen firsthand people not get what they need whether it be medication or hospitalization based on INSURANCE (the companies are evil LOL). I have also seen those who have the good (state paid for) insurance and they wont do the work. They come in every week and complain or make and appointment every wekk and not show. It can be very troubling for the therapist.

I personally LOVE this!!!

 

 So I say to anyone if you are noticing some disturbance in your life, having difficulty coping, unable to maintain relationships, or whatever it is GET HELP!!! Or at least work out it is free therapy in many ways!!!

Wellness Wednesday- Seeking Help

For this weeks installment I wanted to climb on my soap box for just a second and talk about the stigma surrounding mental health. I will be the first to admit that MH treatment has come a long way but it is still not taken seriously enough.

In some cultures there is a belief that you can "pray it away." While I believe in God I know people who suffer with schizophrenia and they pray for their audio hallucinations to stop ALL THE TIME and still they continue. There are some people who believe that those with mental illness are "not strong enough." I disagree. Think about it, how hard is life in general. Bills, work, weight, life, love, children, cooking, cleaning..... there is a daily struggle to manage things and ensure that our own needs are met. Now consider having schizophrenia, suffering with depression, or even a panic disorder and still have to manage all those same things. Mental illness is not asked for. No one wakes up and says hmmm I want to be very sad and feel worthless, or today I think I want to have auditory hallucinations that tell me how terrible I am and tell me to harm myself.

I chose this topic because as I was doing an intake (the person's initial appointment) today the woman flat out said "I don't really think all this will help." When I asked her to elaborate she noted that she did not believe in MH treatment and that people needed to "suck it up." Needless to say I was becoming irritated and somehow intrigued. I asked her if she was aware that she was in a MH clinic and seeking services and she stated that she had tried everything else in the world and wanted to see what therapy was all about. The intake was pretty uneventful from there but I started wondering, What is so wrong with seeking help.

When your car makes a noise you take it to the shop, if you feel a pain in your leg you see the doctor, so why is there such a sense of weakness associated with seeking emotional help? There are people in the world suffering in silence. They do not understand that their extreme fear of crowds, increased heart rate, and sense of panic is not uncommon. They think that they are the only ones who have these experiences because they are too afraid to share. To afraid of what others will say about them. This could lead into a whole self esteem post but that is for another day....

What I want you to take from this post is it IS OK to seek help. If you are somebody who does not need help that is great be thankful for your strength and resiliency but DO NOT make others feel bad for having enough courage to see a professional.... That is why we went to school all this time...

Happy Wednesday give yourself a hug and be well!!!!

Wellness Wednesday- Depression

Its WEDNESDAY!!! Which means we are that much closer to Friday. For the second addition of wellness Wedneday I decided to talk about depression.Depression is very common in males and females. However as progressive as society is there is still a stigmatism related to mental illness and a lot of those inflicted with depression tend to suffer alone, in silence. Those who are unfamiliar with depression or have never experienced do not understand why their friend or loved one cannot seem to “get over it…move on…cheer up.” It is hard to understand why some people struggle in dealing with daily life stressors. Clinical depression is much more than “feeling down.” It is a chemical imbalance that has to do with hormones. The clinical definition found in the Diagnostic Statiscal Manual of Mental Disorders or DSM is as follows:



 



 

 

 

A.   Five or more of the following symptoms have been present during the same 2 week period and represent a change from previous functioning: at least 1 of the symptoms of depressed mood or loss of interest.

1. Depressed mood.

2. Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all or almost all activities.

3. Significant (>5% body weight) weight loss or gain, or increase or decrease in appetite.

      4. Insomnia or hypersomnia.

5. Psychomotor agitation or retardation.

6. Fatigue or loss of energy.

7. Feelings of worthlessness or inappropriate guilt.

                    8. Diminished concentration or indecisiveness.

       9. Recurrent thoughts of death or suicide.

B. the symptoms do not meet criteria for a mixed episode

C. The symptoms cause clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.

D. The symptoms are NOT cause by medical conditions or substance abuse

E. the symptoms are not better accounted for Bereavement, the symptoms persist for longer than 2 months or are characterized by marked functional impairment, morbid preoccupation with worthlessness suicidal ideation, psychotic symptoms, or psychomotor retardation

 

 

What this means is when you are bummed about a test, that extra pound on the scale, or whatever it is. You are NOT clinically depressed. It is important to note that the symptoms have to be occurring at the same two week time frame. For example of you are having an increase in appetite then 3 weeks later your appetite is back to normal but you are now sad (probably because of the weight gain) you are not depressed. Depression is very over diagnosed in some instances and under diagnosed in others.

It is over diagnosed as some people enter the clinic crying and naming all the symptoms and they clinician does not ask has there been any major change (death, loss of job etc). If there has been a major change and there were no symptoms prior then it is NOT clinical depression.

In other instances a person may have the symptoms and be the definition of depression but die to pride, cultural issues, lack of knowledge and many other reasons they never enter the clinic.

After reading this post you are NOT a professional. DO NOT try to self diagnose. However if this hits home for you or someone you know seek help within your community. Mental illness is serious and should not be taken lightly. There is nothing to be ashamed of if you feel depressed and struggle through daily life. There is no weakness in admitting that you need help. It is just the opposite, seeking out help when you need it shows that you are strong.

 

 

What do your tears say?

So this morning when the alarm went off I was NOT feeling it in a major way....

Thinking... noooo its not Friday

My clients often ask me who I talk to. I tell them my dad which is true but with him having his own issues I am going to talk to YOU… Yea this one is emotional so buckle up, or run LOL either way here is what I went through at work sitting at my desk…

I often ask my clients “what are your tears saying right now” and they give me a look that says “huh”. So today as I cry I ask myself the same thing…. I have several answers and none at all. I know that money is tight and I hate that the Mister is working to jobs because “we have a wedding to pay for” but should I not be happy that he is a hard worker and does not mind going the extra mile. I have been in this job and this city for about 2 years so my paycheck has not changed (yep no raises hello non profit unless you are one of the higher ups) so why is it suddenly so hard? Why now do I feel stretched soooooo thin that breathing seems hard? Ok so I have been gaining weight for a while and have been to the doctor and now have the answer as to why and no ladies I’m NOT pregnant (don’t curse me like that) I have some bull shit hormone disorder (more on that later) so why now am I upset? Should I not be happy that I am finally committed to working out, eating well and taking my meals one meal at a time, have great weight loss and exercise blogs to stalk read daily, and have joined a wonderful online weight loss support group, (yea I don’t say much but I read it!!!) and finally have more than 1 follower to call me on my crap when I over eat or miss the workout support me. So really what is wrong? What are my tears saying? Or have they just been building up and the dams are broken.  The financial strain has been there and so has the weight so why today do I feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders?....

I actually let the tears hit the desk...

Then I pulled it together and went back to work and no one ever knew. So who do you talk to? Who saves the super hero?