Monday, Weigh in, and Biggest Loser Link Up!

I am all over the place with this post so try to go with me LOL! Lets start with the usual ITS  MONDAY LADIES!!!! It was a good day for me. I worked out and work was not terrible lol. Who is glad to have the kids back in school raise your hand *raises both hands and then jumps* LOL... Well I have been blog stalking searching lately trying to find some new reads and motivation when I stumbled across Robin. She was talking about doing a weight loss link up and I have never done a link up of any kind so I thought why not. So here we go... 

The Java Mama is hosting a biggest loser link up and you can get all the details by clicking on the link here. This link up is bitter sweet for me because I have been lying to myself saying I am going to write a bear all post where I disclose my weight but because of one reader in particular I cannot seem to type the number. I have so many reasons, and explanations. I have so much to say that could move some to tears but then I'm thinking uh uh lets be raw like Eddie Murphy no need to sugar coat anything. Hell that's what got me in this mess. So here it goes... I have battled with my weight as long as I can remember  In the 6th grade I put myself on a diet (Where were the guidance counselors and school programs then huh? LOL ) lost 25 pounds and seemed to have mastered my weight. I could eat whatever I wanted as long as I exercised.  By exercise I mean take a dance class, walk around the mall, learn the latest dance moves. Nothing like the torture I put myself through now. I competed in beauty pageants from the time I was 18 months until I got pregnant at 19. So back then it was nothing to lose 15 pounds in 2 weeks to be "competition ready." I guess looking back I have never been "happy" with my body. I did not fully appreciate how thin I was and easy my weight management was. geesh if I only I knew then what I know now... Anyway at 19 I get pregnant and it was as bad as it could be, do not misunderstand I love my daughter and she is a blessing but I was 19 and I was not ready. From then on I had no control. My weight went up and down but mostly up. Gone were the days of eating whole pizzas taking a nap then going for a nice stroll and not worrying about weight. When I went into labor I weighed 198 so I decided that I would never be that big again. I got down to 165 then life happened and I was 178. I started working in Social Services going to lunch with co workers, pretended not to notice I was buying a bigger size, made excuses about fabrics, started taking only head shot pictures, and got on a scale and cried when I saw 190. I called some guys I knew started lifting weights with them joined a gym did cardio on my own and got back down to 175 (still not a happy place).So lets come into the present day in the last year I have gained 30 plus pounds of happy weight. My fiance is a chef. But who the hell am I kidding it was me eating fried chicken like it was going out style, drinking alcohol like a client, putting potatoes with every meal and being down right lazy.  No one is to blame but me I did this to myself. So I have to fix it for myself. I have been on my most recent weight loss kick for a while now. You can see my goals here. My plan is to eat clean and train dirty. There is no better way. I am going heavy on the cardio and I have recently incorporated weight lifting. Now here are the numbers

SW- 220

CW- 206

GW- 150

My weight on Jan 1- 211
My weight on Jan 7- 206
For a loss of 5 pounds

 

Excuse my gross toes. I need a pedi and had not put my lotion on yet LOL!!!!

 

Looking at these numbers knowing I will hit publish I feel naked, ashamed, and liberated. Well at least I have some accountability.... Wish me luck!!!