Laughter instead of Tears

Its funny how you get so used to something you can swear its there. What about when you cry after you finally get what you want that's even funnier. Laughter is supposed to be a cure but is it really a mask that covers pain? Do you ever smile when you really want to cry? I do it all the time. I smile when he doesn't call, when the bills are bigger than the check, when the gas tank and the check card are both on E. I just keep smiling. What makes me laugh the most is all the changes I've made and he cannot do the same. Its hilarious that he believs words are ok as long as there is no action. He says efort is all he asks but where is his effort. Is it with the girl he wants to send his resume, or the girl he thinks is beautiful? Or how about the one that's "pfa" maybe they are getting all my effort. What I find hysterical is that I still tried but today I'm done.

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