Today's post is a part of Joi's mini blog challenge and the prompt was to post a controversial post. If you know me in real life then you know my mind was every where!!!! Sex, Trayvon Martin, cheating spouses, Johnathan Ferrell Mega bloggers, racism, literally I was all over the place. I really was at a lost on this one.
Then while picking up my daughter from after care I asked the worker a question that I guess I should have known the answer to and a stay at home mom made the following comment while looking at me like I had a third boob "she must be one of those working moms"... *insert side eye* What does that even mean? Being a mother is work period. Since I am dressed in business casual attire you assume that I was so caught up in work that I missed the memo? Totally not true I was running late because I stayed up late LOL!!!
SAHM vs Working mom
Bottle fed vs Breast fed
DIY vs Buy it from the store
Heels vs Flats
I could go on and on but who has that time. We don't know the struggles that people face and what they REALLY have going on in their life. So maybe I work because I want to buy crafts so I can be a DIY type of mom. Maybe I didn't bottle feed because I have some type of illness or survived an illness. Is it possible that I wear flats to work because I am on my feet all day? These examples are not all my real life just meant to open your eyes and hopefully allow some one to see a situation differently.
In the blog world we all are super supportive of each other until someone out shines you then enter the shade. We have all seen or felt it. It really should not be this way since the pie honestly is big enough for everyone to have slice...
Agree!! Being any kind of mom (or woman for that matter!) is hard work. I don't judge people one way or another. I've been a working mom and a SAHM and honestly, I don't know which is harder because it's just all HARD. Let's put our efforts and energy into lifting one another up!
ReplyDeleteYou have said a mouthful here! So, so true. Women can be crazy cruel to one another. This is why self-validation and a mean upper cut is necessary. Lol! #mbc
ReplyDeleteLol I'm lovong the upper cut part!!! Thanks for reading!
DeleteThey both are hard. I can't afford to stay at home myself but I have to make a certain amount of money or I will be working with no paycheck after the extra gas, daycare fees, and sallie mae them. People will always judge you for your decision without walking in your shoes. I don't pay people like that no mind I don't care what you say I do whats best for me and mines.
ReplyDeleteAmen!!!! I often feel like I'm working to pay bills lol. I know I only gave it so much thought because recently I have been wanting to stay home aaaaand I needed this blog post lol! I agree what works for us is what I do! Thanks for reading.
DeleteWord up! I so desperately want to be a SAHM but we can't afford it right now. I think any mom works hard around the clock whether at home or outside of home. You are right women need to be more supportive of one another. That is what I like about the blogging community as well.
ReplyDeleteI would love to be a SAHM, but as you said, Sallie Mae wants their money back. People can be so judgemental, and without having ANY facts! Alot of folks tend to view the world only from their own little perspective. I was furloughed recently, and in conversation with someone mentioned that the furlough would result in a $250 shortage each pay. The individual non-chalantly stated, "Oh, that's not bad, you can handle that", and then proceeded to ask if a $500 a month spending allowance was enough for their daughter while she's away at college. You know, in case she wants to go shopping or something (they actually said that). At that point, I could have spit nails!
ReplyDeleteI have NO desire to be a SAHM. I have a desire to be a stay at home wife though LOL! My nerves are to bad to be home with a little one alllllll day. Day in and day out. I have a friend that is one and she be ready to leave the house without the baby. To each his own! Maybe one day that will change....
ReplyDeleteAh, yes...the pinnacle of the "Mommy Wars"...SAHM vs. Working Mom vs. WAHM. Like you, I work out of necessity. I do hope to stay home someday, but also hope to remember how difficult it is to manage leaving your children each day, managing time off for sickness, never having enough time to get anything done and all the other frustrations that go with working. You just keep doing what you have to - and don't let anyone take that way from you!
ReplyDeleteLoved reading this!! I plan to be a breast pumping, working mom one day :) You are so right about judging other women, this is a forever battle. People make choices for whatever reasons and it's no one elses business. But hey, that'll never change. Anywho, love your modern mom pic!
ReplyDeleteThanks lady!!!!! Yes it is so possible. I will adit though now that Z is 8 Im tired!I want a break LOL
DeleteYes girl! Why do some women have to be so catty. I've been a working ft mom and now I work from home. I don't consider myself a SAHM because there is no husband that leaves for work in the morning to support my house. Momma does it! I am always tired, looking for a moment. You should have mean mugged that chick at the daycare...silly.
ReplyDelete#MBC
Thanks for reading!!!! I totally understand! Work is work whether in or out of the home. People always thinkwhat they are doing is more important then others when really it is ALL important!!!
DeleteI don't have kids, but I can completely relate to what you're saying about women trying to out-do one another. So annoying! And I probably wouldn't have been so polite to that SAHM if I would have been in your position, lol!
ReplyDeleteHey Toya! Your wedding date will be here before you know it. You are so right about competition among women. One of the first things I learned about blogging is there is enough to go around. I learned so much from other bloggers that share. So I share too.
ReplyDeleteI was just discussing with my husband last night how I want my time to be perceived as valuable. I get the side eye from folks when I say I'm a WAHM (whether I use that term or lay it out completely). I feel like they're thinking that I don't do anything all day. Could be just my perception but I don't think so. I even heard my husband say it once to someone jokingly. It wasn't funny to me! Times have changed. Most women I meet for the first time, don't ask "What kind of work do you do?" They ask "Do you work outside of the home?"
It's crazy to judge each other for all these things you mentioned. I'm cool with judgement as long as you don't pop it off in my earshot, then you will find out how much I care about YOUR OPINION....people are just a mess.
ReplyDeleteNot that it matters but on the subject, I think I want to work part-time, ya know. I want to have my own money and still be able to spend time with the important parts of the kids life without letting one rule over the other.
It's deplorable how we women destroy each other over nothing, Toya. Each person's work is valuable and unique. People are at various stages of life and have had to adapt to meet their current needs. The business of judging others has caused nothing but pain. When will we learn? It's just very sad. SMH
ReplyDeleteI love this post. I just do not understand why so many women (not all) feel like they always have to be competition. We are so quick to judge but wouldn't want people judging us. It's crazy!
ReplyDeleteGirl two snaps and AMEN!!!!!! Thanks for reading!
DeleteI ask this over and over. Can't we just support one another's situations rather than tearing them down? Grr. Everyone has to choose their own path!
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